


Fading Illusion

by fandomslut1998



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bulimia, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, Gang Mentality, Gang Violence, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Underage sexual content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4605276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomslut1998/pseuds/fandomslut1998
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To the outsider, he has it all.</p>
<p>A place in the university of his dreams, a spot on one of the best soccer teams in its league, a position in one of the most prestigious fraternities in the country, and the good looks and swoon-worthy foreign accent to top it off...</p>
<p>Until he rolls up his ever-present long sleeves, revealing intricately designed tattoos that only he knows the meaning of. And if you happen to mention the faded scars beneath them, you can look forward to a hospital trip in the near future.</p>
<p>Niall Horan has it all. But what happens when the new life he's worked so hard for is put in jeopardy by the past he tries desperately to forget? Will the illusion everyone else sees become as faded as the scars on his wrists? </p>
<p>Read on for a punk/fratboy Niall Horan AU like no other... filled with mystery, strange relatives, and maybe a little mad science action, join Niall and his celebrity friends as they become normal people in a completely (albeit slightly unrealistic) abnormal situation.</p>
<p>NOTE: This may seem quite confusing at first, but stick with the story! More is revealed each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

His face hit the mud before he could catch himself properly. He sprang up, spitting out dirt, and pushed himself harder for the last couple minutes of the practice scrimmage. When it was over, he stormed off the field, not bothering to acknowledge his teammates' victorious cheering and raucous rough-housing.

He punched the rough brick wall beside the changing room doors, splitting skin on knuckles that had barely healed. The door beside him opened, catching his shoulder, propelling his next hit harder than he had intended. He growled, spinning quickly on his heel and preparing to throw another punch, before realizing that it had been the girls' door. He caught himself before breaking the (obviously worked on) nose of a tall, blonde volleyball player. She looked him up and down disdainfully, taking in his bruised face, muddy kit, untied shoelace and bloody hands. She raised a barely-there eyebrow before trotting off to join her equally as manicured friends. He scoffed to himself. She wasn't falling at his feet - clearly not from around here.

A large hand clapped his shoulder. Startled, the disgruntled soccer player nearly gave himself whiplash, turning to see who dared to touch him in such a friendly manner.

The curly-haired man behind him blocked the incoming punch with ease, trapping his smaller opponent against the wall that he had attacked earlier. "Hey Nialler, rough practice?"

"Don't fucking call me that, Styles." The newcomer raised his eyebrow, much like the bitchy girl had done minutes before.

"I assume you'll be at the party tonight, then?"

"Of-fucking-course, dipshit. Zayn will be there."

<><> 

He parked down the block from the frat house, not wanting to risk some drunk idiot breaking a window or scratching his Range Rover. If there was one thing he cared about, it was his £70000 vehicle. He ran a hand roughly through his hair, tugging at the dark roots before stepping up the curb and making his way into the large house. He was late. Zayn better still be here.

He pushed rudely past the skimpily-clad girls hanging around the open front door as they offered him a joint. Ordinarily, he might've stopped & flirted with them just enough to earn an entire blunt before escaping to find Zayn, but tonight he didn't even bother. He needed something much stronger. It had been one of those days where the world was completely for him & against him at the same time, & he needed to forget everything as soon as possible. And that meant finding Zayn _now._

He huffed as drunk underclassmen clapped him on the back. Usually, he allowed himself to bask in the adoration at least a little bit before he retreated into his hazy shell of mystery, booze & drugs, but he couldn't bring himself to stomach the attention when he wanted to forget. He still needed to keep up his pretense of caring, however, so he offered half-hearted grins to those who congratulated him on his performance in their last game. _It was last week, get over it already._

Weaving his way past groups of overly handsy young adults, he spotted Harry's tall figure leaning against the kitchen counter, stereotypical red solo cup in hand, talking & laughing with a group of his other friends. Niall headed over there, narrowly escaping the clutches of a bottle-blonde slut. "Styles," he greeted. Harry looked over to him before moving aside & making a place in the circle. "Niall, where've you been, mate? The party started over an hour ago!" Niall shrugged before answering ,"Just got a phone call. Where's Zayn?" At this question, the rest of the group noticed he had joined them. They returned to their conversations after recieving nothing more than a half-hearted wave to their cries of "There's the star!" & "Great game Friday!" He turned back to Harry. "Where's Zayn?" he repeated, more loudly this time. Harry grimaced. "You're too late, he's already gone upstairs." Niall nodded before turning around & heading towards the crowded staircase.

Harry called after him. "Where are you going? Come have a drink!" Without turning around, Niall yelled "upstairs" over his shoulder. He wasn't even halfway to his destination when a strong hand gripped his bicep harshly. "No. No, we have a game in two days. You can wait." Niall didn't bother to turn around before answering. "No, I can't wait. If you'll excuse me." He went to head off again, but Harry pulled him back, more firmly this time. "I said no, Horan."

Niall flinched, not expecting his last name to come out of the mouth of the last person who usually would use it. He turned around & emotionlessly told Harry, "I don't care." Instead of fighting about it, Harry tried to reason with him.

"Niall, you don't need it. It's been almost four months, you've nearly broken your record. Please don't do this, don't fuck yourself up before this game, we need you." Niall looked up, & the eyes that shielded all of his pain were more dead than even Harry had ever seen them. He shook his head, & Harry knew better than to hold him back any longer. As Niall turned on his heel, the closest thing he had to a friend called after him for the last time that night. "Be careful."

<><> 

After successfully making his way up the stairs, Niall headed to the end of the hallway, passing by the locked door to his own room. He knew exactly where to find Zayn.

Opening the door to the only unused room in the house, Niall walked in silently & sat down on the floor, waiting for Zayn to finish up his current business. A few minutes later, he looked over to Niall & grinned, gesturing for him to show the other random boy out of the room. Niall smirked as the younger man stumbled. "Newbie?" he asked. Zayn laughed. "Oh yeah. Had to show him how & everything." He cleared away any mess the previous occupant of Niall's new seat had left while Niall sat on the bare mattress. "Alright, what can I do for you tonight Niall? Didn't see you downstairs earlier, thought I wouldn't get to see my favourite customer at all this week. Heard you had extra practice, or were you just avoiding me?" Zayn gave an awkward chuckle in response to Niall's expectantly raised brow.

He sighed. "Alright, what do you want?" Niall answered immediately. "30 grams." Zayn looked at him skeptically. "I thought you were sticking to the lighter stuff for now? Don't you have a game soon?" Niall shrugged, & Zayn sighed again. "It's not all for tonight, right? The last time was a while ago, did you eat a full meal in the last hour or so?" Zayn may have been a drug dealer, but he cared about his clients & took the necessary precautions, especially with Niall. Niall shrugged again, asked if he still got a discount from the street price, & Zayn nodded before slowly taking out a pre-measured bag of the chalky white substance Harry had tried to keep away from Niall for almost a year. "Do your hit here, & I don't want to see you coming for more before the end of the week, got it? Put it away." Niall nodded almost frantically, not really listening as he reached for his wallet. Slapping down almost $2600 in cash, he greedily got out another bill & rolled it up, eager to begin. Eager to forget. "Whoa there." Zayn looked at him. Niall sighed. "I'll get you the rest later, you know I will. That's exactly half." Zayn nodded slowly, thinking how sad it was that Niall had all this money to throw around & no one besides Zayn & Harry really knew where it went. Knowing Niall would keep his word if he wanted more - & he would want more - Zayn handed the bag over. As Niall took out his well-used gold credit card & shook out enough for three lines, Zayn spoke again. "No more for tonight, okay? Remember your limit, I don't want a repeat of July." Niall rolled his eyes at Zayn before quickly snorting the gram he had laid out neatly on the scratched night table. He tilted his head back & took a deep breath after each one, shaking his head a bit as his eyes started to glaze over. He rose up & went to grab the bag to hopefully make it down the stairs before he got too dizzy, but a hand on wrist stopped him.

Zayn looked him in the eyes. "No more tonight. I mean it Niall, you'll probably get sick enough already from that. Don't miss practice." Niall nodded his eyes & went to leave again, but Zayn stopped him one last time. "I heard Tomlinson is here tonight, so just... be careful, yeah?"

Niall left, & that was the last time he heard from Zayn that night.

<><> 

After unlocking his rarely-used bedroom with shaking hands, Niall stumbled over to his closet to retrieve one of many expensive, unused gym bags. Grinning for no reason, he struggled to concentrate as he pulled a couple of empty plastic bags out & quickly divided up his newest possession into three parts. Leaving the largest amount to be hidden in his room, Niall put about 5 grams in one bag & 13 in the other. One to stay in the car, & the other to bring with him. Rising, he kicked the gym bag back into the closet, piled random clothes on top of it, & stuffed the two smaller bags into a backpack along with his phone charger, a plain black hoodie, his headphones, & the textbook he should've read a week ago. Ready to go.

Checking that his keys & iPhone 5S were in the front of his jeans, he backed out of the room & re-locked the door. The last thing he needed was someone fucking around in there, or Tomlinson getting in. Not that there was anything of much importance that he or anyone else would really want, but it still wasn't a pleasant thought. Shouldering the backpack, Niall fixed the blue snapback on his head, walked down the stairs, & stumbled to the Range Rover.

<><>  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically explaining why Niall was so late to the party, & partly why he felt the need to buy cocaine from Zayn rather than the lighter drugs he had been using after his promise to Harry; the promise being that he wouldn't do the hard stuff for as long as he could stand it, so that he could focus more on both himself & the team. The point is to show that Harry knows his potential, & as his closest friend only wants to see him succeed.

_Before The Party_

After Harry stopped Niall from nearly breaking his hand with the force he was using to beat up the defenseless wall, he followed the Irish native into the locker rooms to change into their street clothes. Although he wanted to warn Niall about who would be at the party later, Harry knew better than to talk to him when he was in this mood.

The tense atmosphere quickly changed when their teammates started pouring in from the field, raucous laughter adding to the hype they felt about the great practice, during which they had nailed down some of the more difficult plays that had been giving them some trouble this season. The conversation was centered around the upcoming game, their first major one in over a month. After winning the small-league game they had played in last week, they were ambitous for the upcoming one. As the talk turned towards the party many would be attending at the Alpha Psi house in a couple hours, Niall slammed his locker shut. The harsh bang quieted the other occupants of the room, & they did their best to avoid his glare. Not paying any attention to them, Niall stalked out of the room with Harry on his heels.

Upon reaching their vehicles, Niall threw his bag into the back of his Range Rover & peeled out of the parking area before Harry even unlocked his Hummer. Harry didn't try to stop him, knowing that Niall would most likely drive to a nearby bar before showing up at the party, as he often did, to try & take his mind off of his not-so-great practice.

Niall sped down the road, slowing down only marginally before blowing through an intersection & startling some pigeons sitting on the sidewalk. As he fiddled with his phone, trying to find the System Of A Down album he had just bought on iTunes, it started vibrating in his hand. Slowing down to just above the speed limit, he slid down the notifications screen, noticing he had a couple of missed calls from a slightly familiar number. He frowned. Who would be trying to call him? The only people he talked to were Harry, Zayn, & ocassionally Liam if he had information for him, & they all knew he had practice when the calls were made.

The annoyingly bubbly Apple ringtone began blaring through his car speakers - _he never did get around to changing his sound settings yet -_ & he looked down again to see that there was another call coming in from the same number. He answered, putting it on speaker so he didn't get pulled over for distracted driving _(A/N: kinda pointless, he's driving around at almost 50km over the limit. Silly Nialler_ ). "Hello?"

"Niall. How've you been? It's been a while, son!" Niall's face paled slightly as he hit the brakes. _Thank God there was no one behind him._

"Robert?" He managed to choke out throught his suddenly closed-up throat. There was a chuckle on the other end.

"That's _Uncle_ Robert to you, pretty boy." Niall shook his head.

"H-how did you get this number? I thought you were... Did they seriously let you out of jail already?!" He sputtered slightly through his disbelief before regaining his usual stony composure. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just thought I'd catch up with you. They let me out a few years early on account of my good behaviour, & I couldn't wait to see you again. I figured we'd have a little family reunion soon, I know you have a game on Tuesday, so how about the next day? You know what I want, that gives you almost five days to retrieve & deliver it." Swallowing, Niall's thoughts swirled frantically through his head. Today was Friday... that meant he technically only had three days because of practice, plus he still had classes tomorrow, Monday & Tuesday. Not that he usually attended, but he might make a point of it.

Realising he'd been quiet for almost too long, he cleared his throat quickly before answering with a question, "How do you know where I am?" The other line yielded dark silence. Niall knew better than to ask again, & he swallowed in a rare sign of nervousness. "Where are you?"

"Meet me in Calgary, no later than 5 pm on Wednesday. I'll send you more details later on, you know how it works." With that, the line went dead, & Niall was left with only the harsh dial tone ringing through the speakers & more questions than answers.

There was one question in particular that weighed heavily on his mind - _why did Robert want him back?_

He knew what the package was, or at least part of it - himself. Given their past, there was no other explanation for why Robert had left Ireland, probably against his parole, to go to Calgary. But that didn't explain what he meant by retrieving the package. If he only wanted to see Niall, why wouldn't he just have him deliver himself now? And _Calgary?_ Why the hell was Robert all the way in fucking Canada? _(A/N: no hate to all of you lovely Canadians out there, I live about 45 mins out of Calgary myself.)_ Even if he left right after the game, he'd barely make it in time, never mind he'd probably have to search for whatever meeting place Robert was setting up - he didn't know the city well, having only been there once to accompany Harry to his brother-in-law's funeral. The man had been a brilliant scientist whose work was not well known in the public. Harry himself had only caught a few murmured words from his distraught sister as she wept on his shoulder, but he knew that the cause of death had been a chemical fire of some sort, resulting in a closed casket.

As Niall sat in the Range Rover, he finally hung up his phone & slid it into his pocket, not in the mood to listen to music anymore. He knew that Robert played games, & like a difficult puzzle, you often needed almost all of the pieces before you could even begin to figure out the solution. The only thing he could think of right now was figuring out why Robert needed him to be in Calgary. The only connection he had with the city was that funer-wait. Niall had been to Calgary twice. The first time, he had actually met Harry's brother-in-law. It had been a couple years ago (the memory of their conversation was fuzzy; he was more interested in finding a cheap dealer in the area at the time), but he remembered him mentioning something about a man named Robert in connection with some experiment. There was no way that it was a coincidence.

Putting the Ranger Rover back into gear, Niall found the nearest bar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 begins where Chapter 1 left off.

A few minutes later, Niall managed to stumble down the stairs. He was a mere few feet away from the front door when his attention was drawn to the living room. His vision swirling, the blonde joined the edge of the crowd. He regretted it when he saw Louis Tomlinson, in all of his kaleidoscope of glory. (Although that could've just been the coke kicking in more fully.) Niall started to back away, but it seemed that luck didn't want to be on his side at all today. Louis stood up straighter when he caught Niall's gaze. He nodded towards the front door, & Niall grudgingly nodded back. If he bothered to drive from his own university almost three hours away, Louis probably wanted to speak to him about more than when their next game was.

Shouldering past awed girls who didn't look old enough to be here, Niall made his way to the door. Just as he was reaching for the handle, it flew open, & a blast of mid-October air startled him. A small group of his classmates poured through, shoving each other jovially, one accidentally knocking Niall's shoulder. His bag dropped, and he caught it in the crook of his elbow. Looking up, he was about to ream out the unfortunate soul who dared to shove him, but Louis showed up. Picking up a bag filled with white from the ground, he smirked. "Drop something, dear rival of mine? Might wanna do up your bag next time. Wouldn't want to lose anything." Niall narrowed his eyes at Louis before taking the bag and stalking out the door.

He stopped on the lawn, turned around abruptly, and made sure everything in his grey backpack was in place before facing Louis. "What do you want?" he asked harshly. "This isn't exactly your turf." Louis raised an eyebrow. "Might want to watch how you talk to me. I have some information for you. Or don't you wanna know what the package is?" In an instant, Niall had dragged the older boy to a stand of trees, pushed him up against one, and placed his left forearm across Louis' neck. "What the hell do you know about any package? Did he put you up to this? I swear to God, Tomlinson." He spat out quickly, accent thickened to the point that his pronunciation was nearly unrecognisable. Louis, ever the cocky one, simply smirked at him. "Would you like to know?" He choked out, face turning a light shade of red. "That could be arranged if you stop trying to strangle me. Or are you getting off on this? Is holding innocent men against trees some kind of kink for you, Horan?" Niall scoffed at the notion that Louis was innocent.

Freeing the brunette, he punched him in the gut before speaking. "'M not fucking queer." he mumbled. Louis laughed. "That's all you got out of that? Are you sure? Because last time I checked, I heard some rumours that you were checking out your teammates..." Niall sent another punch to his torso. "You said you know something." "Yeah, okay, okay. The package. Right.

"I'm sure you're aware that Harry's sister moved out of the house after that crazy scientist died, but she didn't sell it. In fact, she left it under Harry's charge since he's still in the area. I've heard it's locked up tight though, insane security systems and all." Niall squinted at Louis. "How do you know all of this? Why do I need to know it?" Louis flushed. "Uh... Harry might've told me some things after we started... yeah. Anyways. I figured that although you're pretty dumb, you're probably not stupid. It was kinda obvious that Harry's brother-in-law was working on something, & everyone who knows about your uncle knows that they knew each other. The obvious place for whatever documents and things they had compiled is in the old house." Niall stood still for a moment, letting the information soak into his hazy mind. _"Shit, shouldn't have done the whole gram."_ he thought, furious at himself for being so out of it when he was getting potentially valuable information.

"A'right... So how do I get in then, if the security on the place is so high? And _what_ about you and Harry?" "Never mind about Harry right now... He won't let you in. The only instruction he has is to make sure that no one, under _any_ circumstances, gets in and nothing gets out. So I figured you might want my help to get these," With a flourish, Louis presented a keychain, "to get inside." Niall gaped. "How the hell did you get those? Assuming they're the keys for the house. You better not be fucking around, Tomlinson." Louis shrugged. "Snagged 'em a few minutes ago from dear Harold's room. If he wants to do his job properly, he should probably keep a closer eye on these... Anyway, if we're gonna use them we have to do it quick. He'll know I was the one who took these, I'm the only one he's ever told about them, and I'd rather not lose his trust in me so quickly." Niall snapped his head up in shock and anger. " _We?!_ What do you mean, _we?!"_

Louis shrugged. "Well, considering I'm the one who got them, I'm the one who knows where to put them back, and I pretty much just saved your life, I figured we could work as a team for a bit. You clearly need help." Niall rolled his eyes. "I do not need help. I'm just high right now, I can do it perfectly fine on my own." Louis grimaced. "Look, Niall.

"I know you don't like working with others. Even if Harry hadn't told me things, it's clear to see on the field. You may have enough skill to be made captain and be offered a scholarship, but you need to see others around you and acknowledge when you need help. Even I know that you could lose your captaincy at any time, and I'm your rival. You may refuse to have assistance in everything else, but in this I am trying to help you." Niall stood his ground defiantly, his drugged conscious not leaving any room to even compromise. "I. Don't. Need. Your. Help." Louis snapped.

"DO YOU EVEN REALISE THIS IS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION FOR YOU?! EVEN IF IT WASN'T, I'D LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND, SO YOU BETTER GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE BEFORE SOMEONE KICKS YOU OFF OF IT, HORAN." Louis stopped and took a breath. Niall was surprised - he had never seen the smaller man like that, and honestly he was a bit intimidated. Louis' tone reminded him of memories that he had tried to bury for years, and he found he was suddenly struggling to hold back unwanted emotion. Team or not, he was not about to cry in front of this man. Weakness was not an option - as Louis had said, this was life or death, and crying was weakness. Louis continued. "I - I don't want to be rivals forever, Niall. I love Harry, and you are such a big part of his life. It's been tearing him apart to hide our relationship from you. I can't see him cry on my shoulder because he's scared you won't accept him anymore, and I know he's the only person you have, but you won't accept help even from him. You're destroying him, yourself, and your friendship by pushing away all the time. I can't let you die, it would destroy him." Niall didn't answer. His fading blue eyes stared at the ground, blinking rapidly. Louis placed a soft hand on his shoulder, glancing at the bag that lay at their feet. "Niall. You're destroying yourself." The blonde remained silent. "Look - if you really don't want me to help you out, just give in until you're done at the house. You wouldn't have even known about it if I didn't tell you, and I do know other things that might be useful." Niall finally looked up.

"Fine. You can stay, and you can help me. But we're _not_ friends." Louis nodded.

"That's all I needed to hear."

Niall nodded once before picking up his bag and walking to his Range Rover. He looked back when he realised Louis wasn't with him. "Well? You coming or not?" Louis chuckled lightly. "Yeah, Niall. I'm coming."

<><>

After trudging in silence, they reached the vehicle. Niall struggled to manually unlock his door as he was used to doing, the street lights casting eerie shadows over the street and his hands shaking. Louis gently pried the key from his grip and unlocked it electronically, but he stopped Niall from opening the door. "I'll drive. You're in no state, and you don't know where you're going." Niall hesitated. No one besides himself had ever driven the Range Rover before, not even Harry. But he knew that Louis was right - his whole body was shaking now, and the last time he checked, street lights stood on straight metal poles, not waving arms of licorice. Reluctantly, he acquiesced, stumbling around the front to the passenger side. Shoving his bag onto the floor, he clumsily stepped in and closed the door behind him, not bothering with his seatbelt. As Louis started the vehicle, he rested his forehead against the cool window. The chilled glass soothed the headache he hadn't realised he had.

They had only been driving for a few minutes before Louis spoke. "Niall?" The blonde gave no answer. "This is your first time doing the hard stuff in a while, yeah? I know you're probably not feeling too hot at the moment, and Zayn told me you snorted that gram pretty fast. Don't be afraid to tell me if you're gonna be sick, okay?" Niall turned his head slightly. "You know Zayn?" he rasped. "Yeah, he went to my Uni before he transferred to yours." Louis shrugged. Niall nodded slowly, feeling his eyes slipped closed. His vulnerable side, the one that nobody had seen for years, was starting to slip out, but he couldn't help it.

"How long 'til we get there?" He slurred. Louis smiled secretly, noticing that under the cold expression the blonde usually displayed, his relaxed features were actually kind of adorable as they passed beneath the shadows of the night. "'Bout an hour. Get some rest." Niall nodded slowly, letting his eyes slip closed, revelling in the sense of security he hadn't felt in so long. The part of him that longed for his cut-off childhood curled up in the leather passenger seat, and he slept until Louis woke him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Larry happened... That was not planned. Oops. Sorry if you don't ship it... my OTP is everyone/happiness, so whatever. If you're not okay with Larry being in this story, it will definitely take a backseat, so it shouldn't affect too many of you anyways.


End file.
